Authentically Yours …
I have been thinking a lot about authenticity. It is something I always keep circling back to.
It has taken me a long time to define what authenticity looks like in MY life, in the sense that I wish to always present myself as my real, true, soul self without hiding who I am.
I haven’t always been able to be my authentic self. Most my life I spent trying to be the person I was told to be or thought I should be based on what my circle friends were doing. Someone who was liked by all my peers growing up (only to realize later, we were all striving to fit in). Someone society defined as successful (in my corporate director job with a six figure income that ultimately made me sick and miserable). Someone who had the perfect family life (even though it was a shit show most days and I was barely holding it together). And someone who really had it ALL going for her (only to realize that no person ever has it ALL figured out).
During my spiritual re-awakening in 2013, after a year spent navigating stage 3 cancer and treatment, I was really pushed to step into my authentic self. Boy, that was hugely challenging for me on so many levels. But Source/God had my back and kept reminding me that this was the direction and path my soul chose and would lean the deepest lessons this journey. And that definitely proved to be true.
A few years ago I adopted a spiritual name, as I never resonated with my given name. After a couple years, I eventually had to release that chosen name. For as much as I loved it, I felt like I was leading a double life and wasn’t being truly authentic.
Around the same time that I changed my name, I developed my own spiritual practice and business. Along with that, I determined that I should have separate social media accounts, one that is personal and one for my spiritual name and spiritual practice. Eventually I was nudged by Source/God to start sharing my beliefs and writings with EVERYONE on both pages, not just with those who follow me for spiritual content, but with the ones who have known me for most my life, as high school me, as corporate me, as photographer me.
YIKES. That was like ripping off all my clothes and exposing my most vulnerable parts. But, damn if it wasn’t authentic!
I started to become concerned as to if I’d be judged, how I’d be viewed. What if people didn’t want to know the authentic me? What if I lost friends and family because I would be pegged as that woo-woo girl? However, my soul assured me that I would all shake out as it is meant to shake out. Those who love me, the real me that is vulnerable and authentic, will remain in my life … those who don’t understand, don’t resonate or have beliefs that differ, those folks will quietly fade away. And others, others will remain silent and watch the show from afar. It is all good. It is all meant to be.
I am now taking that last step (and there very well could be many more ‘last steps’, lol) that will shift me into a what is feel is the most authentic me. Soon I will be closing down this account. I will start sharing ALL that I share here on my personal FB (or perhaps I’ll start a separate page that is linked to my personal page) I am still (and always) creating what all this will end up looking like.
I have connected with and enjoy so many wonderful souls here. I know that the folks that I am meant to continue a connection with, the ones who comment frequently or those who resonate with me and my posts will PM me - and there is where I will share a link to my personal page so we can stay connected.
Cheers to authenticity, my friends! Xoxo
