The sweet aroma of the dogwood blooms hang heavy in the morning mist.

My heart seeks the solitary embrace of the woods

as I am drawn to her monastic call.

My perception of myself is quite a bit different than the date on my driver’s license or the oldies of my past. The moment I hit my 30s, I mentally stopped ageing, funny thing is, my body didn’t get that memo. Well, to be fair, my beautiful & dear skin suit has been assisting me diligently in course correcting a few wrong doings since my cancer experience (it really is like a whole other lifetime), so we’ll give her the feeling of being in her mid 40s.

A pivotal memory for my younger self is in second grade, celebrating my birthday with a handful of friends, going to see the new Willy Wonka movie. I had so much fun and ate so much garbage that I ended up vomiting in my parents car on the way home. But damn, it was a great party! This was also the last birthday before my parents split up. I would never have a birthday with both of them together again. Young me loved them both equally and unconditionally. After their split, I would wish myself into Willie Wonka‘s world of pure imagination, where we were all happy and together again.

His pulse kept beat to the sway of her hips as she effortlessly glided along in front of him. The Gardenia in her hair inner-woven with her dewy perspiration gliding off her forehead, created a sensory experience he was not prepared for. Every waft of her sent his senses reeling.

Today I came out into the woods.

The second I stepped foot on the forest floor my heart lifted, the dark fog that had covered my aura quickly dissipated. My soul sprung open like a newborn child. Stagnant energy shifted and moved through and out. I was so taken aback by the immediate results that I was moved to tears.

Each day reveals a different aspect,

a phase of her evolution.

A bubbling up of the inner poet,

as her creative muse emerges

from deep stream of consciousness.

How did I get here?

He caressed her skin under the warmth of the morning sun.

Glistening drops of dew sparkled on her skin like the ripples of light dancing on the ocean’s surface.

Gently he pulled her into his chest, kissing her just behind the ear, sending tiny little earthquakes down her spine.

He wanted nothing more than to just be in her presence.

His arms wrapped tightly around her like a soft wool blanket.

The heat from his body begin to pop all the little bubbles of tension she held within.

She never felt this safe.

She never felt this protected.

True freedom lies away

from the flock and

within the understanding that you are

here to transmute yourself,

and only yourself.

To dig deep,

reaching into the depths

of your own abyss,

As tears rolled down her cheek,

she asked for a sign.

A sign that she was meant to be,

that she mattered somehow.

With her head hung low,

She continued walking down the

dirt road.

Welcome to the grand illusion, step right up, it’s the greatest show in the Galaxy.

There are many performers, producers and directors lined up to take their turn.

You’ll find a plot twists around every corner, extraordinary and unbelievable feats of power struggles everywhere.

Pay no attention to the men behind the curtain, just follow their directive and do what they say.

Wait, what?

Put down that pencil, we cannot have you re-writing the ending.

Who told you you were sovereign?

With every step through the woods, her childlike wonder anchored deeper into her heart.

So much joy was bubbling up inside her that it tickled her nose.

Take time to nourish your soul.

Loosen the reins, release your grip.

the clouds drift away without worry.

Breathe deep.

Now, breathe a little bit deeper.

Feeling overwhelmed is a state of fear, obligation and guilt.

Man

Woman

Black

White

Straight

Gay

Bi

Pan …

We only care because they are telling us to.

Why not exonerate all of it.

Do we really need to ‘see’ more than a human avatar housing a divine soul?

As time went on I continued to be triggered by animals suffering and animals dying. Inherently I know the soul is removed before the physical trauma of death,(unless the soul wanted to experience that trauma). I knew I still was carrying something I hadn’t released. It was feeling closer, yet I wasn’t quite able to pull it forward for examination.

The world we once knew is quickly crumbling, morphing and transforming. We are seeing the birth of the new earth. There are many thoughts, channelings and precognitive ideas on what this might look like. None of them are wrong, not all of them are right. Many timelines are being created around this. It is up to us which one we wish to see play out. Holding a strong intention for what you wish to see is so very important.

Duality moves us through experiences, good and bad, bliss and shadows, happiness and sadness.

We work to balance these, hoping to land a greater percentage of the time on the more joyful parts of the journey. But for the majority of us, we will always need to balance the perceived good and the bad. However, consider that moving out of the place where bad is bad, perhaps bad is good and the enlightenment that we seek can actually be found and pulled out of this duality.

When God needed to get Moses‘ attention he used a burning bush. Moses was a man who felt unworthy, inadequate and an unlikely shepherd. This is not

I am a mother.

I am a wife.

I am a grandmother.

I am a photographer.

I am an author.

I am a cancer survivor.

Accepting everything you hear and see at this value is no longer an option. We are being guided tap in to our inner-knowing, live our lives consciously, moment to moment, in deep discernment.